Come Undone
by AikoNamika
Summary: A silent watcher observes Trowa in the Preventers cafeteria, and reflects on her feelings about him. shounenai, unrequited het


Title: Come Undone  
Author: Aiko Namika  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, unrequited het, angst?  
Pairings: 3+4 and (?)+3  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. "Come Undone" is the title of a Duran Duran song and belongs to them  
For: trixiechick's request for "intimacy without smut"on fic on demand (though I don't know if this quite works…it's what hit me.)

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Her eyes followed him as he crossed the cafeteria to the lunch line, and she sighed longingly as he spoke quietly with those few Preventers agents who had managed to become fairly close to him during his time here. He had been here for nearly three years now, and never once had he spoken directly with her, never once had he evinced any sign of wanting to get to know her. Yet, in those three years she had found that she'd fallen well and truly in love with him, and all of the things that he did, no matter how seemingly inconsequential, simply caused her to love him all the more.

She loved the way he moved, long legs carrying him rapidly towards his destination without ever seeming to hurry. She loved the way his brow would furrow just a little bit whenever he thought he was onto something that might bring about an and to a case that he was working on. She loved the way that he could communicate so much with just a few words, phrasing the concepts in such a way that they were immediately understandable. She loved his beautiful green eyes that held so many secrets within them, and the way that they would sparkle when he did something that would lead to more innocents being saved.

For all that she loved him, she did not speak to him, knowing that it would be better for both of them; better for him because he had someone already, someone whom he was completely devoted to. Better for her because it would give her no chance to raise her hopes up at all, only to see them dashed when she was yet again confronted with the truth.

The door to the mess hall opened again, and a certain blond man moved into the room, disregarding the fact that he was shorter than most of the others there while still searching for the object of her love. Though the man wasn't an agent, he was treated like he was one, with the same camaraderie displayed toward him as was displayed towards his taller lover. For a moment she hated him; hated him for being able to fit in anywhere, for having earned the friendship of all within the room, for taking away the man she loved even when he wasn't hers in the first place. However, she couldn't hate that blond man for long, because he could do something she would never be able to do.

As her love caught sight of the blond, he immediately lit up as he never did with anyone else, a smile crossing his face that was reserved for that man and that man alone. Placing his tray at one of the tables, he crossed to the other and caught his hands in his own. The two simply stood for a minute, smiling at each other with their faces and their eyes, and they looked so utterly beautiful together that it was as if they glowed from within. It was such an intensely private moment, and though neither of them seemed to take any notice of those around them, she found herself looking away from them both.

It took all of her willpower to keep back the tears that wanted to spill free; because, though she loved him with her entire heart, she would never be able to give him that happiness. She would never be able to fill his heart as his love did, and she would never – _never_ – be able to cause him to smile like that. All she could do was watch him with the other half of his soul, and stare in both grief and envy at them as they were alone together in the middle of the crowded cafeteria, and wish that it was her in the place of that blond.

But then again, why would Trowa Barton ever want to fall in love with someone who had tried to take over the world when she was eight years old?

-end-

Comments and responses are always welcome!


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